Last night while sitting on the sofa eating dinner with my S.O. in my living room Roommates Messy and Messier started talking in Messy’s bedroom door way (I rarely see them interact so this was a rare happenstance.) Then both M1 and M2 go up stairs to Roommate #3’s room. I found this joined walk upstairs even more odd but then it happened, I knew they had made plans. As all 3 roommates walk down the stairs talking about getting ready roommate #3 says, “Oh, you guys are eating we were just going to invite you with us to celebrate the end of the semester…. I guess we will have to celebrate later.” Then it hit me. I was an afterthought. They pity asked us to join knowing that we wouldn’t. And I find that to be the most terrible annoying part of it all. Rather than making us feel kind of involved but mostly ignored just continue to ignore us so you don’t make us feel like even more shit.
This type of post idea involvement behavior happens to me a lot. I find that people tend to throw a pity invite if they are walking out the door or most frequently if I ask what they are up to. I am not asking to join you in whatever endeavor you may be embarking on, I was just trying to make a light conversation.
Next time you or a friend decide to go out and throw a pity invite out there try to either be sincere or don’t say anything. You are making the people you are ‘afterthought asking’ feel like shit.