As I have said before, I love my job! I love working 5 days a week 8 hours a day! I love teaching people about sex and pleasure! I even love the trip to and from work. However, I am having a hard time trying to find the energy and even the time to do all the other things I enjoy. I seem to get home from work and immediately want to make dinner and go to bed. I don’t feel like socializing with my roommates about my day or theirs, I don’t want to watch 12 episodes of Bob’s Burgers, and I don’t even want to eat half the time because I am either too tired or I am just lazy. When I was a student I had a lot of free time to do my own thing in-between 3 part-time jobs and school work however as a full-time employee I have been feeling a bit lost in my ability to make time for me. I feel like this inability to find time for me if just the traditional phase between being a student to being a fulltime employee but I am afraid that if i don’t find that balance between work and me time I may never find the time or energy for fun things.
These thoughts may be a bit dramatic or premature but working both my full-time job and my part-time job at the TV station makes it hard to enjoy a full ‘weekend’. Since I have Sundays and Mondays off at A Woman’s Touch my weekend tends to be just Sunday because the t.v. station always schedules me on Monday. Tomorrow I have to get up early and turn in paperwork for my new apartment then I have to work 1-7pm at the TV station rather than having the day off to make cookies for my new neighbors and write a stupid school newsletter (that I really don’t want to do and keep putting off because it is total shit!)
Today I have been really productive setting my room up entirely after the move and doing laundry but I also wanted to go to Yum Yum Fest and didn’t because I didn’t have the energy or motivation to go alone. Maybe it was my lack of friends or my introversion that led to me not going out to the festival but I kind of regret not going now that it is over. Since I felt like staying in the house all day was a bad idea I did end up walking to CVS to get razors and blank CDs so I marked that as a small victory for today.
Hopefully these feelings of always running out of time fade and I find the right balance between work and fun soon, or I’ll become one of those work zombies that hides in her room on her days off and is afraid of the sun…. I mean I am kind of close to the now but I could be oh so much worse!